Esoteric Online

Hi there...

I have had a lifelong search for God. A search for understanding what it is. How to find it and where to look. I was raised by Christian parents, who's parents are also Christians. I quickly started to doubt Christianity and the litterals of the bible, but could not leave the idea of a omnipresent God. Always being watched, not knowing by what I started thinking. I has been thinking about it since then, but started learning and reading esoteric subjects, I guess 3 years ago.

I'm now starting to see patterns and parallels between the various religions and mystic teachings. I'm starting to believe that, the goal, whatever it is, is reachable by many paths, Christianity included... Like some Hermetics say.
I believe in the Trinity, or the three pillars but still only have a child's first intuition about the meaning of it.

I live in a "free" community (don't know the english term) called Thy-lejren where laws from the "outside" are minimal and people live a minimalistic life. I live with my two children in a small caravan, where I produce my own electricity from the sun, and walk to the nearest water post whenever I need water. I moved here because I have a child here, but mostly to try solitude and getting time to read, make music and create websites.. I'm a web developer by the way. I do get drunk and smoke too much here, something I'm trying to minimize.

Anyways, I'm interrested in almost everything from philosophy, psychology, religion, biology, physics etc. if it cast light on my initial search and understanding of God and I would love it if anyone would message me with their understanding or just want to have a discussion..

Happy to meet you all,
Ruben

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Among your choices of groups I hope you have chosen The Kybalion group and Kabbalah group. It has information that you might really love to answer your thoughts.

The Tree of Life has trinities and the highest isn't just exactly like the Christian trinity but maybe might excite your interest.

 True Self is another name for God. God has many names but in this 'True Self' you become aware that you get involved and as you learn more you stay involved and can be most important.

How about that thought?

Actuually brought and read the Kybalion a few weeks ago, so I'll definitly join that. Kabbalah seems really interresting too... found much good information in a book about the Zohar, explaining the Kabbalah.. Should give it a re-read soon. 

Gnothi sauton .. But what I'm currently aiming at, is finding the golden leaf, the static spark of Deity, inside me. I don't believe I'm God, but I have to know myself to find it, I guess. Or at least I need to make a suitable temple for it to resurrect in.. I don't know.. im searching :)

But I'm trying to find it and use it's infinite (I think) fountain of strength & love... virtues... truth. It's hard to find though..   

You are your own Content Management system.  More so you created it, all the tiers, dB's / middle layer and the aesthetic presentation layer.  Whether you make it work via C# or .net, or php, or Javascript it is truly you who code.  Look at your own code to see your website.

To be more specific, allow yourself to love others as you love yourself, at that point yourself will love you back.  Wait to see what happens then, the dust on the mirror will be cleansed.

First I have to transcend the programs imposed on me. Programs created by people around me. Programs created by society and culture, parents and gurus. Many of these programs run as daemons, unnoticed behind the graphical interface. You have to make a root scan/search to discover these programs. Some are destructive and counterproductive to the "love others" program. Once the "viruses" are discovered, a thorough breakdown of the code must be initialized. Most of the time these programs are closely tied to other programs.. slave programs. All of which must be eliminated (I think) before one is able to fully understand how to love others as themselves.

Much of the code of course, is written by myself... but again much of it subconsciously and again build on other programs imposed on me. I am not allowed to walk naked outside without being labeled as weird or even insane. I am not allowed to experience hallucinations without being prescribed antipsychotics or be sent to a psychiatrist.

It's a jungle and I'm lost. Know thyself and loving-kindness is the path I'm sure, but what are the means? Meditation, religion, Psycho-active drugs, hypnosis, gnosis, Hermes, trinity, the 3 pillars, oneness? Is it all the same path? Or are they ego-centred programs created to divert one from the one and only true path?            

Great to have you here Ruben, welcome to the community.

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