Esoteric Online

Hello guys,

I need you to help me decide what kind of content to upload to my youtube channel and what type of community to create.

Since I value your time I will summarize it first (text in bold) and then since I really need to get this out I extend it so you can better understand where my confusion lies here I go:

I am a very creative person but not very productive or successful at all, I had kind of renounced to my dream (creating cartoons) some years ago because I feel that my confused mind gets in the way sometimes, now I want to retake animation and give it another try, I am currently feeling very motivated but I am not sure what direction to take.

What I have been dreaming of for many years is to create cartoon series that are funny, folkloric (Costa Rican Folklore) a bit of fantasy etc it would be in Spanish my mother language, I have some idea of what it would look like.

The second option is to rather upload content related to spirituality, with this new age, ascension, shadow-work, self-awareness and many of the subjects we discuss in sites like this, I am a newbie in this area and to be honest this new spiritual perspective has let me down sometimes and most of the things and ideas I learned have not worked yet, I have not received validation for many of the spiritual ideas or concepts and I am a bit mad about it, but I have no option but sticking to this spirituality no other philosophy has given me so many answers, this whole thing about ascension is what I waited for many years and though I am a bit frustrated I know I will definitely continue to research and among other advantages that's why I consider it an option I would be forced to invstigate more and look for facts, I would gather information that I resonate with and upload it to a vlog or youtube channel of course not pretending to be a spiritual leader or teacher but simply gathering information especially that which has some facts and things that can be proved and present it in the best way that I can. 

So what do you think it would be the best option? my heart wants to portray in a funny and relaxed way how people from Costa Rica live and interact with the environment and animals we have here, but I am afraid the community or the potential public would be too small, Costa Rica has less than 5 million people I think it is harder to create a community in a small country I fear that my efforts may go in vain.

Thank you for reading so far feel free to skip the following lines because they could be filled with confusion :D 

As I said at the beginning I need to share how I feel so I may write more than what it is appropriate now, I will explain why I am so confused.

I will be very honest, I am 30 years old and I have been single all my life, 9 years ago I found some programs to make animations and since I like drawing and making funny voices and even write some stories I fell in love with the idea of making cartoons, I started dreaming about it really hard I made a few animations for my friends and they were funny but no material of interest for the public in general, when I started my youtube channel 5 years ago I had no idea about online marketing and publicity and maybe I did not choose the best subject for the animation as I used some characters from another cartoon, I think I would have rather make something more original, I did that because I admire the guy who made the original cartoons and he uses the simplest way of flash animation so I new It would not be very hard to do it, anyway the thing is that in my silliness I thought that it would be easy for the video to be popular but it did not, I did the animation while I was unemployed and had plenty of time but then I had to get a job and could not continue, in this times your energy can be sucked away by many many things and I came to realize that maybe I did not want to pursue that dream anymore, besides, there is another dream that seems very far away if not impossible I dont use to share this with people but, I dream about forming a romantic realationship, but if I am confused about what I explained before I am a hundred times more confused about relationships, I rationally believe its possible that I ever get a girlfriend but my body and my heart dont believe it possible, its been too many years, I can´t convince my heart that I can actually form a relationship, and that is some of the reasons I had quite my dream about making cartoons, I believe that if the universe is against it I can´t get to manifest anything despite all that it's been said about your world being created by your thoughts and mind.

I would like to create funny and "happy" cartoons, but I had been told in a reading a year ago that if I wanted to be creative for real I had to acknowledge that I am not fully happy, I was told that I am an artist more of shadows, and pain and struggles and that seems to be true but that confused me a lot a today a year after I am still confused, maybe my subconscious wants to go in one direction and my conscious mind in another, I would like to take the enterprise of creating cartoon series but what if my subconscious does not want to cooperate?

Almost all the readings I received last year coincide in that my spiritual development goes hand in hand with my creativity and arts, but I can´t focus very well in what I want because I fear that the universe has a different thing for me, I want to align with my soul´s purpose, I don´t want to waste energies going in the wrong direction.

Please tell me what you think, thank you guys

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I think that you are far more beautiful than you realize.

I say that as someone who is also highly creative and as well underrated, not supported in the music or writing by any other financing than Pay to Play. I like that you do cartoons - I believe there is a great amount of gentle new humor to be discovered. I get a vibe that you could be a part of that movement. So what if conflict and confusion feed the furnace stoking the fires of artists. That's just the way it is. Doesn't mean we cannot use those conflicts to innovate towards greater gentility, greater good.

So do both channels. It's true that spiritual issues are too vast and profound to be left up to the experts. Put it out there as spirit moves you. Sometimes good work comes out of unfocussed dizzy spaces. Other times the artist needs to get grounded before putting out anything good. Either way, it's mostly about the process anyway.

Thank you sav, this really helps, honestly I want to create cartoons but everything gets complicated when I think about what the audience may like and if this is something I could do for a living, yeah you seem to be right about conflict and confusion I will accept those as part of the process.

I still think it will take me some more time to make my mind but it seems that I am slowly gaining clarity, I will try to relax :D

Thank you

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