I wish that you find the balance between your spiritual development and being present in the material world, I'll tell you my question right away in the next paragraph and after it I do an extended version of the question because I like writing, though some of my writing is a little bit fill in :D
I am worried that I spend too much filling my mind with concepts and reading about spiritual stuff and not too much in the practical stuff, I would kind of like to compare what I call my "spiritual path" with yours, which activities do you do that you consider are related with your spiritual development? are your actions a reflexion of your belief system? do you really practice what you preach? how have been your spiritual path like?
Ok, so that was my question and now I explain a little bit why I don't dedicate too much to the practical stuff.
I am afraid of being deceived, if I try something I want to see results, lets say I practice visualization and I want to see progress, if I decide to learn from crystals I would like to feel a difference, for example,between a clean quartz and one that needs to be cleaned and charged, but I don't notice any difference at all! once I tried a meditation that consisted in reviewing your day before going to sleep, they say that helps the subconscious process all that you experienced during the day, but again I don´t wake up the next morning feeling that my subconscious mind was relieved from some work, there is no feedback! there is no way to know if I am doing a meditation right or wrong!
I know it requires patience but the thing is that I want feedback, what guarantees me that it will work? for example, you can commit yourself to make physical exercise but let's say you don´t eat properly, you won't see results even if you worked out hard in the gym for three months,
One thing that happens a lot to me is that usually, I try something new, like a new guided meditation or a visualization exercise and it works beautifully the first time or the first two and then it kind of fades.
for example I had started an astral projection course and the first four days I could separate from my body, I was so excited then I got stuck in one part of the course that consisted in visualizing a white paper and meditate on it, I could not do that and then I could not get to astral travel anymore.
I also use tarot cards and usually every time there is novelty like I buy a new deck or find any new practice it works well at first but then I can´t do it...
Maybe my mind pushes too much, what do you think friends?
Spiritual leaders often talk about the mind - and the ego - as impediments to spiritual progress. This is why if one works to be more patient, more loving, more kind - to do as a benevolent loving God would do - that is considered great spiritual work. Being patient with people and being patient with what one hopes to get out of meditation are different though. Immediate results may not manifest with people or meditation, but still these are distinct aspects of leading a good life, which could be another phrase for spiritual practice.
This is your piece, so I'm not going to use a lot of words about my own cause-and-effect results. Just that I do walk my talk. I did when I was younger too, but spiritual practice helped me clear up some things that I used to think i was entitled to, like little white ass-saving lies. I don't fib about anything anymore. And being honest is itself a simple road full of complicated twists of the diplomatic tongue sometimes.
I also think that a healthy ego and a healthy mind are more attainable and worthwhile than striving to obliterate the ego and totally transcend the mind every day for the rest of one's life. It's still work of consciousness - and conscience - either way.
Yes, I think your mind pushes too much. You have to trust the practice, the time, and your own rate of progress. You will always be yourself - have the same birthday, parents, tendencies to do well in some things and not so well in others. But your ability to enjoy breathing, show true compassion and forgiveness, coordinate your body - many many small improvements and profound revelations are there to be tapped from taking up a discipline and exploring.
Thank you Sav, yeah it seems that I am lacking patience and also faith, that's why I want to see results soon because my faith is not so strong.
About being honest, I am a very honest person except in one thing he he, but that is changing, I usually hide from everybody that I have a nonexistent romantic life because I am ashamed of it but I don't feel like hiding anything now, I mean I still lie when my friends ask me how is it going about girls but slowly I am losing resistance and I acknowledge the truth more and more, I will think about it, I am tired of wearing "masks", I had not thought of authenticity like a spiritual path but it makes sense, so thank you for bringing that up Sav.