Congratulations - you pulled yourself out of addiction and are feeling your recovery!
Reading your piece, my response drifts more towards what it means to be wasting your second chance. That speaks to me more than if there is no external universe out there. I believe in this piece. Compassion does not mean forgoing pleasure. When compassion and meditation become your greatest sources of pleasure, you must be doing something right. Your stated intentions make it clear that your process, your evolution, is not a waste of time.
Thank you for including we readers in putting your best foot forward. The old pleasures are over, and they had their meaning. Keep those miracles rolling. For my part, the path is slow but steady.