Esoteric Online

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  • Missoula, MT
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Profile Information

What brings you to Esoteric Online?
I unwittingly went through the spiritual alchemical process and am looking for greater understanding and wisdom, as well as a little bit of tutelage.
YouTube Channel
Current Path
Seeker (default)
Favorite Sacred Sciences
Yoga, Tai Chi, Magick
About Me
I have done many things in search of myself, testing who I am. I have stood in front of gods and monsters, principalities and powers, man and machine. I have lived in hell and glimpsed heaven. I simply am, and that is enough.
Astrological Sign
Favorite Books
Wheel of Time, LOTR, Dune, Foundation, Conan the Barbarian stories
Favorite Films
The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Documentaries, Rick and Morty

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Backavar's Blog

Albedo (part 4, FINAL)

Posted on June 12, 2017 at 12:37am 0 Comments

"Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found."

-Pema Chodron

"But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests. Lonely one, you are going the way to yourself! And your way goes past yourself and past your seven devils! You will be a heretic to yourself and witch and soothsayer and fool and doubter and unholy…


Albedo (part 3)

Posted on May 31, 2017 at 3:50pm 1 Comment

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain.  People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul.  One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

-Carl G. Jung

A few instances from Technical School come back to me every so often whenever I seek defining moments in my memories. 

There was one time where I was loving the use of the…


Albedo (part 2)

Posted on May 31, 2017 at 1:02am 0 Comments

The Lie I Never Told


Innocence Ripped Away

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

-Kurt Vonnegut

Every Friday in Technical School we would have a weekend safety briefing.  Them having to tell us, remind us actually, to behave probably grew tiresome at some point.  Then we had somebody light a couch on fire and throw it off of a third…


Albedo (part 1)

Posted on May 31, 2017 at 12:28am 2 Comments


"The True Mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The True Heart can tough the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginning-less time, darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying Light."

-The Lion Turtle, Avatar the Last Airbender

I'm not sure when exactly I began to question everything that i thought was true.  I was once desperately blind, trying to walk by faith, trusting that…


Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 5:51pm on November 18, 2017, sav said…

At 8:19am on May 25, 2017, sav said…

thanks for your work, keep it coming

At 11:49am on May 18, 2017,

Hi thanks for joining our community, please feel free to ask if you need any help.
Also check out our path portals for study on the site:


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