So here we go. Thanks for reading by the way.
I had a dream once, and I feel compelled to share it with you tonight.
In my dream, I was driving down a gravel road, and there is a Y shaped intersection at the end of this road.
Both in the dream and in the "real" life oddly. I know this because I would go on runs down that road to intersection and back. Its about two miles from the intersection to my starting point.
Gravel road, farmland on either side. Not too many vehicles traveling usually.
In my dream I am driving down this road and I turn left, and its a weird intersection the path from the west is uphill, and I am headed north turning into the west. As soon as I turn I see a big yellow schoolbus full of kids.
At this point I have two decisions, stay the course and crash into the bus, or veer right.
I veer right and crash into a tree. Instant death.
Now I am still dreaming, and its probably been 20 years since the dream occurred, and I still remember it vividly.
I die, and what unfolds is not heaven or hell. It's emptiness....
The worst feeling I think I have ever felt. There was nothing... NOTHING.
Empty, black, and the worst was no sign of hope. No return. No thought of hope.
No connection, nothing. And no possibility for change.
Its like you assume there is night and then there will be day, nope.
Neither side exists actually, and it is bottomless. No top or bottom rather.
I would have asked for hell, just to have something to hold onto.
What's the moral or closing statement to this experience?
I don't fucking know, but I definitely don't wanna go back there...
YOU figure it out.
The Individual Is Paramount
As Within So Without