Esoteric Online

From where I stand, I recognize a fear of belief, probably not dissimilar to that of an atheist, while I'm firmly on the other side of that equation. I have no doubt about the Be-ing of what we term "Creator" or even creators for that matter. I have no doubt that- as we define ourselves as living creatures- the root of existence is alive and a being of such magnitude that we can only know we are but a tiny fraction of its potential. Yet we are a multitude of necessity, meaning; we need to be many to accomplish one thing.

However, I do not believe, but am even afraid of retreating into such position of complacency without understanding. I'm afraid I won't do justice to these revelations, if I leave them unexplored while looking at a loss of orientation amongst humans around the world.

Several religions and movements under other titles appear to try dealing with that dilemma. Whether it was that same fear or another intuitive urgency, I only believe that each leader or originator felt that a new orientation had to be on the agenda.

And so does the atheist, but without any acceptance of moral guidance, the atheist appears selfish, hardheaded and lost for that matter. The energy it takes to fight doubts that must emerge for any atheist, every time we witness unexplained sensations or stunning "coincidences" requires focus against a truth that reaches far beyond the physicality they hold on to so firmly.

I think- or could imagine- that they are afraid of belief, because they don't want to feel dumb or submissive to dictations from any religious "authorities", surrendering to some dogma and having to obey false or illogical directives. They are afraid of being restricted by lies or confined by so-called destinies, designed by some supernatural boss, whose force was manifested only in its army of believers. They are afraid of their own sense of moral, denying it and rationalizing it into suffocating superstition beyond any and all reason. "Reason" being the key word.

Now, I'm on the other side of this. I love to feel the living power of the Infinite, but have that urge to understand all that I can understand as a human being. As I study various scriptures, I begin to read clearly that many- if not all- of them understood deeply and clearly what they were writing about. That it is us, who failed to receive their messages properly, knowing that we would have to decipher them and translate them into our world of reasoning just so we see the actual wisdom they gave to us.
Belief as we encounter it today is most often the submission to certain misunderstandings, not even leading to the otherwise desired obedience to moral dogma and the likes. The same motivation that had them glued to fairy tales as children appears to have them glued to such dogma. "A great reward comes to those who observe, submit and obey" or any kind of pay-off for a faithful "mindset". I could go on and on about the deceit that comes from such ideas, as people pretend their way through life with a straw at hand that promises salvation as long as they fear god, never mind how they actually act in life. And that's not even the problem I am concerned with right now.

Belief is a certain surrender without knowing just how far did you get in your clarity. I don't expect everybody to follow so passionately a path of understanding. It cannot be necessary in order for us to function. As much as I fear belief for this reason, I sense that belief itself is the middleground, the place where people accept what they cannot understand in order to act with a positive confirmation from their soul. I only wish that people would connect to their soul more. This is what Christianity has always been all about. Our over-soul, the soul from which we split off and in which we merge again is in the center of the Tree of Life and Christianity called this Christ. If there were such occupation as spiritual physicist or chemist, the Tree of Life is- by analogy- the molecular composition of life and as such all of existence as we are made to perceive and accept. Christos is nothing but a fork in the road of becoming. But there we are already all One. We are all being informed together through this Sephirah, Tiphared, in the middle of this Tree. And since we are adults, we understand the concept of a model, we know that it is nothing but an aid to visualize the connections between all milestones of creation.

This is why I believe that Christianity in its very roots is by far more overtly kabalistic than any other religious movement of magnitude. But it is difficult to understand without guidance. It takes a great deal of dedicated studying to even encounter this properly. Who of you Christians out there knows that "God" is a title exactly like "Satan", which is not one being, person, angel, demon or what ever creature. They are titles equivalent to Lord, which is why "Lord" so often replaces "God". Satan, however, is the "negative" potential, while "God" is neither good nor bad, positive or negative. We are composed of all this, which is why "God" or even "gods" for that matter are within us, or the powers that compose us as we are. Naturally not just us, but all there is from stone to lily, from star to a grain of sand and through water and fire into living entities.

And all of that for some reason. Ever since consciousness received the power to ask back, we've began speculating about this reason. I tend to think that it is that very question that marks a milestone of attainment and that we'll get there as the answer and not to receive it.

But, just to clarify, Christianity in its roots is connecting far more to all those religions that long for enlightenment, not anything better or worse. Even Judaism, the bones and the memory of Christianity, is on that same path, even if most if not all its followers, too, went astray. Except they don't seem to know this while being firmly convinced they're holding on to their traditions faithfully, deserving some reward.

There cannot be any reward for any single person other than continue to being driven and to recognize when to rest. No single lifetime will yield a final reward at least thus far. And this final reward will be collectively and simultaneously. At least that is what I.... believe. Haha.

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Comment by Taron on September 24, 2012 at 5:14pm

Beautiful, Being, thank you. That also reminds me to make a painting for my next sketch again! But you've now added a perfect painting for this thought for sure, thank you, again! 8)

Comment by Being on September 24, 2012 at 4:50pm



By the lake at Sunset

Reflections of soft lavender

Mix with oranges and red

High lighted by searing rays and twinkles

All reflected in the depths of the lake waters

And stunningly present above


Gifts for those below now full of wonder and awe

Seeking the Source of all this beauty

And when revealed suddenly

The depth of this wondrous gift

Stuns one into silence and appreciation

Followed by Heavenly Music played into

the interior heart of the Watcher


Well-Being fills the air

All  is well – God cares


 This is all I know right now.

Comment by Taron on September 22, 2012 at 3:28pm

Thanks, Troy! That's really what I'm always hoping for, because that's all we can ever offer to each other; inspiration.

Julian, thank you, I know this is quite complicated, yet, exciting to think about. The Tree of Life is at the very least a paradise for our spiritual speculations, anchorage for deep explorations into all these transmissions of old and from "elsewhere" through the AEther. I know where I am now and content with it, physically, since I know I am meant to as we all are. I believe to understand that the model of the Tree of Life explains how we come to be, what is part of us at all times and what we could and should remind ourselves of, especially if we went astray and got detached or unhinged from each other. And this model shows all components, which are not just earlier stages of our composition, but all the stages, even those we have to go through again "on our way back up", mostly Tiphareth, which is or holds Christ. "Through Christ we return to the Father" and so on.

Comment by Troy Whitzel on September 22, 2012 at 2:04pm

wow that was well touhgt and witten have to think on it a while. Thanks for you insight.

Comment by Taron on September 22, 2012 at 12:48pm

Thanks everybody for joining in, it's such a true joy for me, I really appreciate it immensely!

Julian, this is what I've started working on ever since it began screaming at me off the pages of Genesis through the Torah. At the time I truly disliked the New Testament, because it appeared to have borrowed pieces of the Torah without an obvious understanding of deeper meaning, but it was me who still doesn't have the whole depth of either fully in my awareness.

Christianity and Judaism are truly the siblings of Kabbalah and structures conscious to humanity long before those movements and people were named or even gathered for that matter. Both represent a revolution or renovation- if I may say so- of those ancient interpretations or translated revelations. And both rebelled against their elders, against their parents even, partially denying their origin on the surface, but internally confirming the same esoteric DNA, so to say.

I thought about symbols today, too, right after writing all this. I've pretended to explain this in some kind of inner preaching moment, haha, which I occasionally have for some reason. But what happens then is quite fascinating to me. As I begin to try explaining, explanations come to me, kind of through me- oh, I know how mad this might sound- and out of the blue an answer whispers itself into the mix to a question I wasn't even concerned with at the time. Oh god, this is going to be a little wild, so- uhm- bear with me, please!

(Maybe I should make that a sketch, I don't know, but while I'm writing...)

Now I come to the firm believe that the words we recognize as names do most likely have their origin in meaning, some of which might be known to some of us, while we don't treat them consciously as part of a sentence or a story. We use names as addresses, identification beyond what ever other idea may be associated with them.

Imagine you begin to care to understand existence by studying what is around you, but observing the phenomena and measuring aspects such as time, distance and number of appearances. You begin to see relationships that are deeply and purely logical. And as your eyes open, the language you receive is numeric, the divine method reveals itself in numbers and proportions.

The depth of those observations goes beyond any simple explanation, mostly because it is not the kind of thing you can point at and count, but it is rhythms and flares, showing up and vanishing over all kinds of periods of time and at the end only those with lifelong dedication could really make those observations let alone confirm them without doubt.

So the first religious doctrine might have been almost entirely in numbers. But people would not get it. They could not relate requests for certain behaviors and suggestions to social conduct or the likes based on total abstractions. Neither could they preserve a knowledge they wouldn't understand.

Thus, similar to our apples and pears method of teaching math to children, they began to name deities and higher noumena, logically responsible for the creation of the phenomena that we experience as life.

What used to read "1st of 3 became the 4 that manifested the 7 and the 7 of 7s" would turn into the father, mother and son out of the bringer of light and so forth. And eventually father, mother and son were named and so on.

So the numbers became names, became persons, individuals. And this has actually been a progressing approach, evolving into more and more solidified personifications. I think the Stanzas of Dyzan long predate the Torah, for example. If not the Stanzas themselves, it would have to be the information within them, but nevertheless, they adopt very abstract teachings and bind them with vedic titles and names for deities and divine symbols, while retaining a lot of the numberings that are most likely still accurate parts of their source.

There are two kind of reactions to spontaneous and intense revelation, sometimes both at the same time, too; crying and laughter. These are strong emotions, addictive even, because this moment elevates our minds straight up to our spirit and our soul. For a brief moment it feels as though we're conscious of all that we are. But this state is difficult to keep up. Especially after just a few of such moments, we are not yet fully done with processing the experience and so many things are still left undiscovered to us, which solidify the power of our revelation in our daily lives.  -- Why the intermission you ask? Well, let's get to it then-- The Torah and The New Testament, along with practically all scripture that we can get ourselves to understand, hold the power of Truth within them, even if heavily obscured at times or seemingly unreachable without knowledge of the original symbolism. But this Truth still holds power, understood or not, and shadowy aspects of our life suddenly receive light like never before. Thus we associate moments of immense epiphany with the scripture that delivered us to those. The words we were reading are becoming burned straight into what we had perceived as the Truth. And slowly but surly the personifications the allegorical titles and names become representatives of this Truth. To deny their existence would be to deny the very truth that send us up there, gave us this glorious moment of clarity.

I would've said that it doesn't matter, because as long as it contains the truth, it is not lost, whether it is truly understood or not. Preserved it will find its way to an interpreter, who may revive its actual meaning, adapting it to the time of such progeny. But the longer it takes for this one to emerge, the harder it gets to break through the firm structure that crystalized teachings into dogma.

Jesus was the powertool used to break through such a wall 2000 years ago. It couldn't swing around abstracts anymore to introduce a renovation of Torah teachings, but such revival became very urgent at the time. A fully personified Christ, submerged in fully composed stories with beginning, arc and end, fully of provocation, emotion, drama and passion. Almost all numbers vanished for a moment. While the most important numbers could not be left out. Compare the NT to the OT or Torah and you can see immediately that the Torah starts of full of numbers, overtly and intrinsic to the choice of words, let alone Hebrew, which is both letter and number at the same time. Genesis starts with structure, fairly abstract and only visualized as much as it was possible without totally corrupting the truth within.  But along comes the New Testament, now full of classic story telling elements with only a few obvious symbols. It takes almost all the way until the very end, The Revelation to John, that we get fully blasted with the true symbolism behind all and everything. The key to the Todah/OT is on its first pages, while the key to the New Testament is in its last. 

Both speak of the very same truth, the very same teaching even, but they use a different language, a different interpretation and focus on the symbolic elements that needed to be delivered. What the Torah was "hiding" became the face of the New Testament. But all at another dear cost and at great risk. The numbers became sacrificed and with it the simplicity that spans around all of us equally. Groups formed and clustered against other such groups. What Babel was said to be to language, Dogma had become to religion/belief. We won't ever be able to tell, whether it was worth it, mostly because we are ill-equipped to judge the divine method and everything is the result of it after all. But more to that on another sketch another day. 8)

Comment by BTR on September 22, 2012 at 7:34am

Spirituality vs Beliefs. Simply put, Spirituality is the living expression of "Faith" (an energy path that transcends the need of proof ). Beliefs on the other hand are very much rooted in the nature of matter, in that just as in Nature, change is necessary to remain viable as conflicts present restrictions to the accepted path of flow.

Spirituality is based in the acceptance of "Now", the only true expression of "Being," The "Now" is ever present and current. It may give light to questions, but is not dependent on there answers. The "Now" is proof of "Faith," with or without any other belief. Blessings

Comment by anki on September 22, 2012 at 4:16am

brilliantly worded friend. thank u.

i enjoyed this deeply.i will ponder on deeply on the thoughts u shared.

lately i have been feeling that the intuition i have should be transmuted into reasoning.

like understanding and being aware of feelings and why, in order to have full awareness

of the world surrounding me and the people in it.

i feel almost all paths we are on can lead us to this, it is just a matter of how we chose to walk them. it is the intent that makes the path one is on as it is.

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