I feel better than a year ago... still.. I feel fucked-up.. Clueless about what to do next... I actually don't really care..Lies.. Deep inside me I care.. but it's buried so deep that I can't reach it anymore.. Voices come to my mind all the time.. "Coward" ,"Halelujah", "Prophet", "So sorry" "Hipocrite" "Pig".. I don't understand them.. Yes I am a coward.. but "Prophet"? I'm not a prophet at least I know that.. Still I'm thankful that the voices are much quieter than last year... 2017 was a hard year.. still much progress I had.. Next step is.. What to do with feeling of being miserable all the time.. feeling of weakness and trapped inside this fucking city.. What should I do.. Yoga? I hate yoga.. Meditate?? Last time I meditated I ended up screaming scared I was leaving my body..Im a musician.. That's were my heart is.. with music I feel at peace.. at least for a while.. Then I have to come back to this life.. trapped inside this mind.. I want to feel free again..I want..