Esoteric Online

In the middle of the night, under the moonless sky there was an old graveyard. Some tombs were new and some from Victorian times. It stretched far in the horizon. There were flowers and angels on the tombs. One could see which is taken care of and has a family and which was deserted to be covered by weeds. There weren’t any people at this time of the night but during the day one could see them bring9ng flowers and crying for their loved ones. The path between the graves has been there for hundreds of years, many people walked on it half of whom diseased themselves. Time had frozen in this cemetery; it was a display of an ending of a life. Tears have flooded its stones, tears of mothers and wives.

One of the lost souls living in this cemetery had been there for many decades, when a person dies with a large amount of pain they are too heavy to fly and stay down here. In time they forget their lives and don’t know why they are lost anymore, all they know is their pain which turns into rage and hatred for all that are living. It is being stuck in a moment that you cant get out of.  Your life has ended long ago but the pain hasn’t because it was never healed and it left a scar in your soul.

The lost are called that because they have lost the sense of who they are and dwell in the world trying to find a reason for their existence. One of those souls was a young man called Paul, or at least its how we are going to call him. He had forgotten his name long ago also what he did when alive and why he is lost. All he knows is the heartache inside, the cutting sharp pain in his soul like a freezing winter wind.  After being in the same graveyard for years he made his way to the fence and discovered the big city that lay outside. With the pain constantly in a loop in your mind finding a way out can be very difficult. All he knew was the loop.

Such a hard task though to find another soul who can hear or see him, everyone was blind to his existence which only enraged him more. The inhabitants of this city were all in a rush to wherever they were going to. They wanted money and more money, the meaning fo their life wasnt important. They had everything he didn’t and they didn’t value it at all. One day it will be gone and all they will have left is what is in their heart.  That is the true measuring, how pure heart you have and what have you done to better the lives of others. The more pain the heavier it is, a healing is needed in order to leave or one stays behind.

Many call those lost spirits demons because of their dark nature, but all that they are is just a heart full of wounds. We all need love sometimes and it soothes the wildest beast.  Anger needs to be heard and accepted pain needs to be healed and let go. Task harder than most can imagine. What Paul had lost was haunting him his entire life and he took it with him to his grave. A wife’s loss hurts but a child’s loss tears apart and nothing can heal the wound left in your heart. Paul dwelled for days until he came to a small red house in the outskirts of the city.

The rage had starved him, but not to for food. He needed energy and emotions. All attention and all emotion is good emotion when you are starved of love. He was attracted by a pink colored curtain with a light shining through on the second floor of the house. In the room on the lower bed of double bed sat a young blond girl with curly hair. She seemed very upset that attracted him even more. The girl had strong energy she didn’t know about and it was very pleasurable to be around. It tasted like pure chocolate with a tint of mint. Sweet yet spicy. He sat next to her and stayed for weeks.

The girl got weaker by the day and her feelings mingled with his. She showed more and more unstable tendencies. The fear inside him was now inside her. A connection works both ways when you take something than something else replaces it of an equal value to the body in order to keep the balance.

Sometimes the balance is than with darkness in the middle and all we can do is fight it with love. One doesn’t beat pain with pain, we beat it with love.


The girl got sicker and it wasn’t possible to hide it anymore, family found out and light spheres they created. It burned and hurt more than his own pain did, so he moved in the one place there was least shielding in, the kitchen. The mother was strong sadly not as strong as the girl and a lot less pure but he had to feed so that would do for now. We all seek medicine for our aches and we all do things that are unethical because all is allowed when the soul hurts. No one likes to be in pain and no action is done with bad intent, yet the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Most of her time she was in the altar space which was impossible for him to enter. The walls hurt and burned.

Paul stood at the door and watched the mother inside with eyes full of desire, she had what he didn’t. loving family. His burned in a fire long ago, wife and daughter died. He followed them short after by his own hand. The mother saw him and this tale he told her. There is no better healing than to listen attentively to the words of another. All we mostly need is someone to listen and be there, to offer soothing by saying we aren’t alone.  

She knew all there is to know about loss and pain, so she listened and he spoke about beautiful daughter he had how much he would love to find her again. the more he spoke the lighter he became. Shared pain is half the pain. The face of the man became visible and he was tall with big grey blue eyes, native to these low lands. He had lived in the end of the Victorian era when the food was scarce and the houses extremely dangerous and caught fire fast. With most of it made of wood it spread before he could save them.

He cried on the kitchen floor just like he did so many years ago. He lost what mattered to him the most. After that life had no meaning and no value. He was nothing without love.  All he needed to know is that someone understands and that he doesn’t have to be separate from them. His family awaits his return in the land on the clouds. So close yet so far away just out of reach. No one gives up what they love most and as the mother and Paul spoke to clouds above opened and a little girl in a blue dress was waiving at him. The smile of an angel was looking right in his soul. The tears of happiness covered the soul of both. He was finally allowed to pass, not by another but by his own pain, the biggest teacher of his life.

May he rest in peace, so mote it be.

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Comment by anki on November 14, 2019 at 12:16pm

oh! i didnt know about that  Peter.

Comment by peter henry daley on November 11, 2019 at 7:07pm

There is a story of a woman who lived in India for a time and returned to England.She employed a succession of maids who became weak,sickly and left. She had been instructed in a form of vampirism in India.

Comment by Max on November 5, 2019 at 2:15pm

Fascinating tale Anki - thanks!

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