On Will, Want and Fear
Today something prompted me to finally write a new blog post. I know it's been ages and it would make an entire post itself to explain why. However, as part of the fruit of the reason comes the following little article. I initially wrote this to a Rabbi in Jerusalem, who I consider a dear friend by now and who asked me to write this down. I should mention that I'm not Jewish, which made this quite a bit more special. We used to have frequent Skype sessions in which we shared our experiences on a wide range of topics from spirituality, religion to contemporary ideologies and more. I'd tell him my revelations and he'd consider what the Torah may have on it. But after my last big experience I might've stumbled across fundamentals, which somehow went a bit too deep down into the root of many of our customs. I'm not sure what effect it had, but ever since I wrote this to him our connection might've risen to a different level, one that doesn't manifest itself in the physical realm, hahaha, I mean, of course, we didn't have another Skype session since. However, I will soon write about my experience itself, but for now I will share with you some thoughts that came from this and have much greater relevance than the account.
To present this observation about another threefold aspect of the human condition, I would like to start by introducing the general axiom about the composition of existence again. Once familiar with this perspective on the logic of being, parts of the complexity we encounter at our level of existence become clearer, I believe. The world we live in appears very complicated due to its complexity, but the fundamental principles never change. Once they become part of our understanding and a device for our intuition to draw from, even the most convoluted phenomena unravel into much easier strings that form the web of our reality and how we are woven into it.
A continuous loop, for all intents and purposes, is a repetitive motion. Even if the path such a loop pursues is all but circular, it does not negate the validity of this observation; e.g., a loop that makes many smaller loops, like a filament of a light bulb, before it returns to its origin again is still a loop. And thus existence spirals itself into being with ever expanding complexity from dimension to dimension. A single loop does not immediately reveal said complexity or any dramatic change to a previous revolution. Only the sum of all minor loops- a completed dimension- begins to exhibit greater complexity. In the earliest dimensions nothing could exist or be observed, because these first three dimensions only build the matrix of that, which is to come subsequently; i.e., each dimension becomes the quantum for the next dimension. This whole matrix will have to be repeated as many times as are necessary to fulfill the composition of what is considered complete in the following dimension. Each revolution introduces a small change. It is the nature of the change itself that determines the substance a group of repetitions will represent in physical manifestation. As an analogy one may consider the color of light. A single impulse of light can only be labeled as such, if it had completed at least one partial wave. If you were to slice into such a wave to capture a single state, you could not tell whether it was light, or heat, or a radio signal, you could not tell anything about it, because you could not examine the rate of change the impulse travels with. Once a rate of change can be observed, you will recognize it as red, green, blue or whatever it may be.
Because of that we cannot recognize the process or stages of this change itself, when we look at a stone, a crystal or even water. By the time our consciousness is tied to- what we call- our physical body, the complexity of observed existence is so vast that we can barely notice the changes that are happening to our already manifested cells within our own skin for periods of time that contain inexpressible amounts of loops within only one dimension before “ours” let alone the multitude of revolutions of that prior dimension which makes up a fraction of a second in time we could measure.
But we constantly interact subconsciously with the rate of change and patterns of motion that eventually lead to manifestation as our reality. We even control an area of this process. This area we call our body and with it we manipulate the area in which we move, when we pick up an object, consume another or even just utter word into the Æther. A thought, measured in our brains alone is that very same process, but does it truly originate there? We are conditioned to believe that everything is happening in the reality we perceive and don’t shy away from contriving that all relevancies can only be measured meaningfully within “our” dimension, “our” reality. Furthermore it is labeled as superstition or spiritual entertainment to recognize the origin of all, including our own “higher” self as subject beyond matter, outside of the time we measure. Yet, that is precisely where it all becomes. And as much as it takes universal amounts of perpetual changes until a single moment comes into existence within our realm, as many changes we witness subconsciously between each step. Until such time that we acknowledge a reality, the path towards it, that world before it, is but a blur for everything that still “moves” inside of “our” dimension, as far as we are able to recognize or a ready to acknowledge.
The harder the substance, the less it will be a blur in our “higher” sight- the unconscious experience within a prior dimension- and the more we can enjoy to look at it, because it moves with us, if we can hold it, or it will stand still, if it cannot be moved. If we can track it with our eyes, the substance itself will relax us. It can even be an anchor for our senses. This is why we enjoy diamonds as much or the remains of ancient castles, a massive mountain and even a very strong, old tree. I wonder if this is part of the reason for why we want to possess something we like, because it will move with us and provide less confusion. We seek anchorage. But that’s just another thought.
What does all of this have to do with Will, Want and Fear?
Will is formed long before our current manifestation. It is the origin of our impulse, the guide through many of the stages, the dimensions, through which existence has to go in order to form our reality. Its origin might even go all the way to the root of being.
Want and Fear are probably the main features of the dimension prior to ours and therefore a quantum of our completed reality. We perceive them like a response tied directly to the results of all the repetitions and represent rather a form of feedback. If you were ruled by wants and fears, your behavior would be animalistic, purely reactive and not controllable by will. The feedback would overrule the intent.
But to access our will we need clarity. The blur of motion in these rapid and perpetual changes of dimensions before “ours” obscures the “line of sight”, so to say. In part this is analogy as much as it is most likely literally so. Especially when we consider the means by which we can attain clarity, the power of stillness and the benefit of certain routines. If we can predict ourselves, we carry ourselves as like “a diamond” through our lives. We can become our own anchor. If we do not, if we rely on being reactive only, having want and fear dictate our moves, those moves rely on the blur of motions outside of our control. These are the people who seek possessions, riches, wealth, who come addicted to precious things or pleasant motions, if they can find them. Sloth, Gluttony, all those classic “sins” are really just the illness of allowing life to be dictated by fear and want.
There is a lot more to be explored on this “thought”. But ultimately the presented understanding itself provides us with a powerful tool to recognize reality for what it really is and how we can improve our own existence at this level. And with it we improve our existence on all levels.
I know this is a rather unusual treatise on all accounts and requires a good deal of focus and imagination to detach from the materialistic point of view we are accustomed to and recognize the concept of dimensions as I’m trying to present it here. Much like a hunch I sense that there’s but a single carrier that realizes the universe, a medium, whose motion makes all there is by way of its moving patterns. I believe that it feeds back into a kind of fluid space, which collects each feedback like ripples in the water, without resistance as we know it from our physical realm, those ripples are almost permanent reminders of all that is happening to the carrier. In some way one may imagine the creation of a vinyl record. Anyway, I don’t mean to get carried away now. But part of why I am mentioning this is, because I believe- what we consider- existence is only the impulse given into the infinite fluid space from which spawn all the universes. And every one of us contributes to that impulse. With everything we do, every single decision forms each new ripple. And- much like in a pond of water- we feel the old ripples, shaping our reality, informing our will. Think of an analogy to Will versus Fear and Want in regards to holding a glass of water as you walk around. Normally you have clear intent, a destination to where you want to walk with that glass in your hand. You would not spill it. Want and Fear inform you about the obstacles along the way and help you avoid them. If those two would rule you, though, you’d wonder around aimlessly, feeling attacked by standing walls. Anyone with intent may avoid you as you’d represent merely a moving obstacle, nothing to interact with beyond that.
What other thoughts and views can emerge from all this may shed light on subjects such as Out of Body Experiences, the nature of the "Astral Planes", what really are other dimensions and offer a chance to speculate beyond our level of completeness. But I will attempt to write about all this with the recount of my pivotal experience some months ago.
Love and Light to us all,