First I would say that I do not or feel others as well would, seek pain and suffering. While there are times we experience pain from being to close to the fire, and in self preservation must step back. I was at a friend Mike’s mothers visiting and his young granddaughter came up and asked if I was in pain? And in fact I was to some degree. I replied maybe a little. I asked if she thought pain was good or bad? She thought is was bad. I asked what if the pain is there to tell you something is wrong, like a messenger who needs to get your attention to an event. An opportunity to asses and change depending on the circumstance. She did seem to see it more of an alarm then a harm with that. I too see it that way or something on that line. I also don't want the alarm always going if possible. Have an environment that dose not stop pain, but gives you support to get through the pains. There is growth in pain, if consumed as it comes. But if we reject the pain and deny its existence we will never get past it. It is now a burdened soil in witch nothing can grow. More a burden to carry, then a strength or wisdom. Now accept the pain for what it is and reap the fruit from the growth. Now the memory is of getting through the pain and the strengths gained from the processes of growth. I feel we all have our own scale of pain too. And it is the scale that we have to the pain more then the catalyst. But our individual scales are the ones that are what need to be respected and accepted to start. Now if we want to work on the things that cause us pain, we need to see what growth we need to finish to complete the cycle of growth and end the pain. When you get cut on the arm and feel the pain as the surviving surrounding cells swell and the birth pains of new cell growth. Once the repairs are over, the pain is usually gone. As with the loss of a Loved one, it is our acceptance of their moving beyond us in the cycle that will allow us to savior the fruits of their life’s effect on us. But to wallow in the lack of their physical presence, over the fruits of their life is to wast a precious darling gift they gave in being. This is not to seek or denounce grief, but to accept and allow it it’s cycle as you can. This is the place were community is such a key factor, allowing their pain on their scale in their time. You do not have to understand someone’s pain to help them through it just accept it and support them.
Thanks for the read!