Seek situations and environments that appear "scary" but that you are drawn towards anyways.
Definitely be aware of re-occurring theme's in your daily life, at all levels.
Consider the experiences of your own life from birth to now. Do this deeply and fully.
Allow the emotional water of those memories to be felt, and fully accepted.
Without question. What has been done is done.
Now once drained, look at those memories again. With clear eyes.
Detach yourself from the "experiencer" and observe the environment and your reaction to the environment objectively.
Tinges of emotion, still, will direct your gaze on the past. Do not get caught up in this.
Look closer. See the patterns of your memorized experiences. Not just from the perspective of you as the participant. Also see the actions of others involved; see their patterns as well.
Those past decisions of yours were influenced by others involved. Do not leave them out.
Use the remembrance of those decisions to not only better understand yourself, but also the others involved.
Especially when there is that snap of emotion. They probably felt it too (and still feel it).
Life experience is, well, the most personal mentor you will ever have.
It can be the chains that bound you to a moment in time. Never wanting to let go and move on, and not daring to be something different than a memory.
It can be stagnant marsh of unexpressed emotion, calling you back to soak in the guilt.
It can also be both of these things. One is usually dressed in the other.
But if you can separate the two, and deal with each on their own terms, perhaps then, you can bring them back together...
On YOUR terms.
The Individual Is Paramount
As Within, So Without