"I'm into throwing away all my crummiest tapes and songs," I told my neighbor Gray.
"Ah! A purge."
"Right. It's different when it's voluntary, not like losing stuff to fire, flood or legal maneuver."
"Making room for the new."
"Yes, Gray, yes. Sculpting the archive".
My standards are higher now. And some tunes are transitional -work songs - more important as process than as something to present. It's liberating to look at something you wrote ten years ago, wad it up and toss it. Deleting a file is not as satisfying as crumpling a piece of paper. Here I was, basically taking a dump over a rhyme scheme, and for many moons took it as too precious to just trash like anyone would a Microsoft document today.
When it came to showing work, there was always an effort to emphasize the ideals. Sure I had plenty of angst material, sure the distinction can be ambiguous, yeah some of it is good and was performed ... but in life as in art I felt there was already way too much emphasis on anxiety out there and that route wasn't going to be a part of any real progress I wanted to show. Which is why this is perfectly good phase, performing for myself, not recording it, not even for myself. That's been my habit: breaking it has made experimenting with and for myself much more fun than replacing the old tech with microdigitalia. Leave it to other people to produce the interface with the machinery from here. I get to sing aloud as quietly as I've wanted to in my heart all this time.