Look at your life, objectively. Look for patterns of causality. Look for common environments.
Common routines and situations. Macro scale.
Listen to the observations of others (be careful in this, listen to those who are close to you in that there's actual physical interactions, they witness your decisions and circumstances, not twitter).
Now put all of these pieces together, and get a sense of who you really are.
What commonalities do you see in regards to environment, job responsibility, and what other people say about you.
These are clues to understanding yourself. You true self. That inner will.
Once you get a hold of that, be it a small glimmer of reflecting light in a world of noise....
Grab onto it, and let it burn. Gather wood and build the fire bigger.
The heart does not need acceptance, it seeks expression.
Take the fucking barbed wire and thorns off. Of the heart.
The Individual Is Paramount
As Within So Without