Sometimes I look in the mirror and all I see is darkness
Do angels cry? When they cry is it with tears if blood?
I ask myself is there a God? If there is why has he forsaken me.
Why do some have their great life and for me its only pain.
It is not fair to not even be able to look into your own past
Because the child in me only knows tears and loneliness.
When I was a child all I wanted was to grow up and not have to be so small
I felt meaningless all my life, worthless and empty.
Like I was locked up in some basement deep under my skin.
No one there no light no love just chains and ice.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and hate myself
Hate myself for all that I have become, for forgetting myself
For not allowing me to be myself for becoming someone else
Just so He would love me, so He wouldn’t hurt me.
He hurt me more than I can express, it wasn’t just what he did
It was the betrayal, it was stealing away from me my owl soul
It is broken in pieces now and I don’t know where most of these pieces are.
Memories hidden so deep within me I don’t know where they are.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and want to die.
I want the pain to stop, I want the memories to vanish,
I want Him to love me, I want to have a family and be a child.
I want to feel love again; to feel joy I want to feel something else than fear.
It is like being frozen inside your skin, looking outside through bars of ice
Not being able to say what you want to say and be who you want to be.
I feel like a prisoner of my own past, locked inside my mind.
The only time I get to come out is when I create my art.
That is my wings and that I will use to escape weather dead or alive.