Often a violent battle of ones more subtle nature. The higher will must force the death of self. So rebirth as a wiser quieter self can occur. This process must be repeated with ever increasing difficulty in order to attain any level of truth or what some may call ascension. ‘‘Tis not a singular process, nor is it easily achieved in any shortness of time. The dweller on the threshold will rear its head even after many deaths have purified thine mind and soul. Initiation is the unnatural forced completion of these cycles in one life time. And so it is weary work. Hard on the body and the mind. Only through suffering are the most valueable lessons learned. For it is only the body that suffers and thine mind is a part of thy body. YOU are greater then both of these trifling things that desire and age and die. You must always remain above the mind and the body. Experiencing from a distance all that occurs. Immerse yourself in the experience but only as an observer and eventually the willfull controller. Find ways in which iniatory experiences can be had. Through your effort and your higher form of desire you will naturally bring these lessons into being. Once the path is taken underfoot you may not turn back without consequence. My humble suggestion is to stay silent. Only speak when it is absolutly nessacery. Meditate on this and what you observe in silence. Do this for a time. Only you know how long is truly enough. ..... the path isn’t clearly marked, it’s is not a straight line. Many roads meet the path for a time and then turn off to some other end. Straying is a natural thing. Straying is a lesson in itself. Recognizing you have strayed and finding the place where you left the path behind is the challenge. Being humble enough to know that you are most likely wrong about most things is a valueable trait to have. The truth changes like the wind. What is true today may not be true tommorow. For truth depends on orientation and circumstance of observation. All truths are but half truths.