Esoteric Online

Another way of looking at the phases of awakening are the challenges.

First is the desire for nihilation.   The black hole inhalation that never reaches completion.  Whether in a drug/romance/act or otherwise.  The self is lost before responsibilities/pains or other aversions.   This shallow level of hell is indefinite, but the hell-realm is difficult to perceive as such, since one loses themselves to the illusion.  Beyond this illusion is tattered relations/health/ability/et al, yet this reinforces the drive back to the illusion, even as the illusion becomes more shallow.  All is for naught, or all is vanity, but I would not dare sacrifice it. 

Seeing what is, is a first focus, but once one recognizes their ill-health, lack of responsibility or otherwise, the drive cannot be blind.  Jumping into a diet or other intense action, for the span of weeks or months, another illusion.  There is no definite fix without context, without adaptation to embrace what is.  It is the care for a moment which allows the butterfly effect, more than another pursuit absorbing awareness, before recognition of what is.  May one commit to who they are to be, now, rather than solving all of a problem?  We expand our problems to their outcomes, making the present necessity far greater than what it is.

Second is the desire for comfort.  The inability to embrace the moment of the mundane.  The caring for a car, training of a dog, or exercise of ones body.  In the moment, any excuse becomes a resolute decision lacking substance.  It is the excuse to escape from the action which does not progress. 

Wishing to be there, not here, the action is not recognized for what it is.  The mundane is training of the most basic habit.  It is thus time, as far as time is a recurring pattern.  What is miraculous is allowing things to become, by supporting the underlying form, the pre-determination.  What is necessary arises, it is done without falling back to the sleep state, yet there is not a pursuit.  How is this achieved with consistency?  The run begins to take on facets of health in eyesight, relaxed/gazing while running, the eye has its break from the computer.  Perhaps, in the morning, the depression exists, a smile maintains fortitude but leaping up a series of pushups/sit-ups leaves the energized body.  Hot water trickles over ones hands while washing dishes, it can sooth the mind.  As we form, the inter-connectivity develops through what is mundane, this conexion must be recognized.

Nexus/nexus/nexus, intertwining fields in the web of wyrd.

Third is the desire for completion.  The computer shuts off, should one develop a routine of ensuring it remains on by continuous clicking every 20 minutes.  The individual focus rests upon a complete whole, one knows the end goal sought.  Yet there is no thought for the single step, one instead ties into intricate activity for the sake of continuity.  This confused state does not require further effort, only the embrace of a moment already whole in itself. 

The solution was to change the settings, leaving a computer running for hours or indefinitely.  That solution seems obvious, yet it is one that routinely becomes neglected.  Seeking the end of a goal/enlightenment/a race up a rockwall, the extra step is never taken, ones feet were not replanted.  Taking a step back, seeing the moment as a whole in itself can be difficult, the focus pushing aggressively towards an end, but it is necessary to understand the extra step.  Without that step, an action is blind and without skill.

A nod to Qi Dao for an initial inspiration to focus thoughts, though I ultimately disagree deeply with the defined ends promoted there.

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