So after recent events, i have to reach out for some help. I more so wish to understand this than fight it, but I would like input on how to combat this freaky thing...
My aunt told me about a dream experience she has often where she gets a buzzing in her neck and spine and feels like something is grabbing her. It apparently started to infect her husband late after their marriage.
I get it too. Approximately a year ago I started getting these same things (with one distant episode as far back as 4-5 years). I fall asleep, but am still awake like a twilight realm. Sometimes I am there for a moment before it happens, other times it's instant. Here is my description:
The very first time I felt it, I was in some sort of mansion. It was dark and there were some of my friends there, or maybe strangers. We were exploring the place when this demon/monster presence began to attack us and I expelled it from the place by shouting at it. I don't know what I was saying, if anything coherent. Sometime after that dream I was in the same place. Not sure if anyone else was there, but I encountered a shadow figure that was tall and human shaped. It seemed to be made out of little blobs of black smoke and tar. It proceeded to electrocute me and it shot throughout my spine. I endured it for a time before waking up, feeling panicked, sore, and still buzzing. Now onto a few years in the future:
I enter this twilight state and my spine and/or neck begins to buzz like a high frequency electrocution or resonance. Accompanying this is often the sensation of something grabbing my shoulders from behind and an intense feeling of dread. That level beyond fear and just before terror, if you will. When this is occurring I am mostly paralyzed except for my eyes. I can struggle it and move my head, arms, and legs to a very minor degree. It's as hard as doing an extra pushup after you've just pushed yourself to do that one extra past your limit. I've never seen the presence, but feel it. I've even been able to conclude that it can be triggered by what I eat before sleeping or napping. Yogurt and hemp seeds, followed by falling asleep sitting up or reclined is my best bet for inducing this.
For a long while I thought it was just my gut causing this (which is certainly true to a point). Then one time when it happened, I was aware enough in that state to gather my gusto and challenge the experience. "Bring it! Do your worst!", and of course it got worse. Then I realized that I was able to talk so I resorted to chanting a mantra, which I recall it being "Om namo bhagavate vasudevaya", but I could be wrong. It was long enough ago to forget. Sad face...
Yet, when I did this the presence vanished and the buzzing refined itself into a sort of standing wave that flowed to my spinal base and to my crown from my neck. It was a much more pleasant feeling, but still too intense and I woke up. The next time it happened, I threatened the presence to call upon my gods and it faded away and I woke up immediately. I had a few paralyzed lucid states after that with no buzzing or any presence.
That ended shortly after and for many months I had no experiences like that... Until one night. I was in my old room downstairs and woke up from a dream to go to the bathroom. I got up and stumbled before falling to the floor. I was so dazed and loopy I couldn't realize what was going on... then I started sliding out of the room. I tried to move but was unable. I continued sliding out of the room and over a couch. I saw a friend of mine was sleeping there and then I recognized that this room was organized totally differently! Then it struck me: I am neither awake nor in control of my motion! I was being taken away! At that point i was lifted into the air and I looked back to my friend and tried calling out for help but the words died upon my tongue. My throat vibrated but no sound came out. I was being slowly lifted up the stairs when I started to do my usual routine of forcing my limbs to move. Finally I awoke and ran upstairs to drink away my terror and spent the rest of the morning watching cartoons to ease my panic.
I wish it ended there...
I moved upstairs after that for many months until finally braving the basement again. I have been down there for nearly three months now and I had that very same friend come over for the first time ever and spend the night. We stayed up drinking and I had a ton of pizza before bed. So stupid. I know better. Anyways...
Around 5am my foot was pulled off the bed and I awoke to literally pulling against the force! I sat up and gathered my thoughts and then I felt it. The presence from the dream where I was being abducted. It was in my room. I tried to lay down and ignore it, tucking my blanket under my feet. I fell asleep many times for the next hour, awakening with a sharp inhale or gasp. Then finally I fell asleep for real. Just as soon as I did, both of my feet felt that tug and I jumped out of bed and turned on the lights. I couldn't feel anything there anymore so I just decided to start my day super early.
The next night I went to bed around 7pm, exhausted and sensitive to stressors. I slept fine until 5am. I woke up and started my day. I had some tea with 2 tbsp of Udo's 3-6-9 oil. About an hour after my concoction I got super tired and returned to bed. I was tossing and turning fighting severe nausea and settled in an upright position against the wall. I tried to meditate and will away the icky feeling. The previously mentioned experience with dozing then awakening with sharp inhales occurred again. Finally, I fell asleep. Then I was where I am now, at my computer desk. I notice a white blotch on the wall above my station and look up. I focus on it and when I do it turns black, revealing a goat skull. Right when I realized what it was I was stricken with some sort of seizure or convulsion, like it was boring into my skull. My head was thrown back and the convulsions became so intense I thought I was going to become engulfed by this presence. It felt like the same presence from the two previous 'attempted' abductions. I fought to bring my gaze down away from the image and when I finally succeeded I woke up in bed shaking with terror and my neck and head throbbing with pain.
That was yesterday morning. Last night I slept upstairs once again. Might do the same tonight. These experiences have really gotten to me and I don't know what it means. Is it an entity, is it just me? Do I have nocturnal epilepsy all of a sudden or is it sleep apnea? All I can do is just drink until I'm not scared anymore. Maybe that's what it wants?
Why is this all so connected? What's really strange is that I was at my peak before that occurred. Since then I've suffered many things, both in life and in my health.
One time I awoke from a nap and had my left arm paralyzed that took 3 months to recover. Still acts up and it's been over 3 years! I've had an onset of migraines, anxiety attacks, stroke-like episodes, convulsions or even partial seizures, gut problems and food sensitivities, heart problems, and an over-arching decline in energy and vitality. I feel like that entity sucked out my core and I've been slowly rotting away. I can only assume that all these things are connected due to their seemingly linear appearances.
Awesome, I'll check out that blog. That is pretty cool how that lined up. Everything has a purpose! I'd like to discuss it further for sure. It's such an enigma. Crazy how you too defended yourself with names of God. Just goes to show that there is something there.
Do you find any correlation between your activities and the occurrence of the dreams/feelings?
It makes me scared to eat too close to bed. Seems like proteins are the culprit, but I don't have any certainty.