Esoteric Online

I rarely tell my own true tales but this one may be worth a shot for some summertime entertainment.

Earlier today I decided to stop at a frozen yogurt shop for a small treat. As far as I knew the place had a good reputation and was highly recommended by some of the locals I was chatting with outside of another shop nearby. So I ventured in out of the heat into the cool haven of AC and colorful walls and murals and counter people dressed like cows. On the counter there were three size samples and keeping my distance from the maddening crowd that had descended upon the place I ordered a small vanilla yogurt, no toppings or frills. Yes, I am one of those "plain" souls. As I was summoned to the front of the counter through the sea of moms and kids and a sweaty aerobics class, I paid for my treat, grabbing it with the speed of light and fought my way outside to find a shady spot to sit and enjoy my well-deserved treat. Finding a relatively cool spot I got comfortable and started enjoying my yogurt.

After 2 spoonful I thought my treat simply tasted funny, waxy and bland and worst of all warm. I was about to go complain when I saw one of the cow people hectically running towards me -

"Sir, sir OMG sir! You grabbed on of our counter samples instead of your real order! Please come inside and let us fix this."

Now working as a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company and having studied alchemy I know a thing or two about ingested poisons.

"Hold on," I told the cowman, "What is this sample made of?"

Cracking half a smile, he tells me, "CRISCO - you know that shortening stuff they fry chicken in."

Relieved, I followed him back into the shop for my real treat grateful I hadn't ingested some commercial chemical. I was treated like a king and walked out with an extra-large yogurt and a pocketful of discount coupons while three happy cow people bid me adieu.

So, waxing philosophical, I can think that indeed "Haste makes waste," but unlike the rose, a yogurt by another other name it not necessarily yogurt."

Enjoy summer folks! ~ Max

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